


The firewhiskey's kickin'

by rosalineriddle



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 18:17:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9504989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosalineriddle/pseuds/rosalineriddle
Summary: It is Hermione's idea to go back to Hogwarts after the war. The Golden trio is reunited and completely broken. Especially Harry is unable to regain mental health after what happened. Little does he know that Draco Malfoy is forced into a redemption and goes to Hogwarts too.Eventually they get a chance to talk for the first time...





	

Eighth year at Hogwarts was never meant to be an easy one. Harry was finally ready to take up this challenge when Hermione couldn't stop bragging on how beneficial it could be for all of them. And maybe there was something in it — after all it made them able to meet with people and somehow rebuilt relationships with their friends. 

So, on the first of September all three of them were standing on the platform nine and three-quarters, unsurely and full of doubts gazing at the train. Hermione was the only one of the trio who was keeping a a facial expression closest to smile. Ron was holding her hand tightly and absent mind-ly kissing top of her head once every minute. He was so unsure of what will happen. When it came to Harry, he was rather stiff, trying to ignore thousands of glances focused on the three of them but still mostly he was the centre of attention.

'I knew it'd be like that Hermione' Harry sighed after a while. 'You sure about it? I mean...'

'Harry, let's face it. You're the Boy Who Lived, you're the Saviour. You'll be always stared at. All of us will, won't we Ron?'

'Hermione's right, mate. It'd be even worse if you'd try to start a normal life among other wizards... Everyone wants to be friends with the famous Potter nowadays' Ron smirked but with no irony, he was being fair. 'Bloody hell, look who's there!'

Both Harry and Hermione turned their heads in the direction Ron was looking. At the very spot was a well known tall, slim figure topped with light, bleach, blond hair. Almost unrecognisable wearing ragged muggle jeans and a black t-shirt.

 

Draco felt awful at the platform when he saw them; the Golden Trio as they were referred to. Saint Potter, Know-It-All Granger and bloody Weasley. Each of them of greater value to the Magic World than the whole Malfoy's family ever been and Draco was fully aware of it. He thought that they were not coming back that after all of this Harry will need a break but no, Saint Potter must finish his education of course. He was surprised to notice how mature all three of them looked. Even bloody Ron didn't look like a stupid kiddo anymore, he was a young man of arguable aesthetics and noticeable height. Even though he maybe wasn't to be considered handsome, even Draco had to admit he had something pretty calming and positive in him which made him popular among both boys and girls. His new girlfriend and best friend, little filthy mudblood Granger also looked mature. She had a ponytail and brown curls covering her cheekbones, she looked very serious and you could see all the pain she'd gone through hiding in her honey-brown eyes. She lost a lot of weight since they were both in Hogwarts 2 years earlier. She appeared surprisingly skinny and delicate what she'd never been. The Saviour, the Boy-Who-Lived was actually the one who changed most. There was nothing of the schoolboy scarhead that used to walk through the corridors with arrogance written on his face. Few meters before Draco was standing a well-built handsome man with untidy black her, strong jawline, bit of hair growing there which showed off his masculinity and, what surprised Draco mostly, he even felt guilty acknowledging it, really well grown chest and noticeable muscles. 

'What you staring at, old chap?' Somebody punched Draco at the back and he saw his old Slytherin friend Pansy. He must have gone completely red hearing the question because she simply raised her brows. 'Being obsessed about our Saviour once again?'

She grinned and forced herself into a laugh.

'Don't be silly, Pans. Ministry advised me to do some things that aren't pleasurable and give some positives to our gracious society so perhaps glorification of Saint Potter counts as it...'

'I'd rather not be so sarcastic if I were you. Look, I don't even know if I should talk to you...'

'Oh, c'mon Parkinson! Life goes on and...'

'You really believe it, huh? Of all people... I know it's been hard but honestly it won't get any better.' She had this sadness hidden in her eyes as well. Nobody was the same and Draco himself knew that too well. At least there was his friend who could help him. 

'Let's leave those gloomy talks for later. Perhaps it's a fair idea to find ourselves a carriage.'

'I'm not coming, Draco. I'm here only to walk my little brother.' She nodded towards a familiar looking boy. 'It's his first year in Hogwarts... He was supposed to go last year but parents didn't let him. I persuaded them to let him come this year.'

Draco Malfoy shook his head with surprise. 

'Fair enough. I wouldn't come either but that's... Form of redemption for me. They've forced me into it otherwise... Anyway shame you're not coming.'

'I know Draco, things are bit different now, so you better look after yourself there.'

He mumbled some kind of goodbye and turned back to lock himself in an empty carriage inside. He'd quickly understood that there won't be anyone messing with his privacy as much as there was pretty nobody willing to accompany him. All of his friends were either dead or sentenced and after all could he really call them friends? He knew Pansy Parkinson was probably closest to what he had of a friend but still she did it all because she was hopelessly in love with him, now even those feelings seemed to had faded. He knew he could just love Pansy back at some point but he couldn't, he never had a proper crush on a girl, never felt anything... There was just loneliness through his life. Loneliness, parents and a hatred mixed with obsession to a certain scarhead. Why the hell Potter came here?!

 

Harry, Ron and Hermione weren't very pleased when they've heard that all the students who are doing the eighth year after a break or just want to properly finish schooling are to have their own, separate dormitory despite the houses. Harry didn't want to show it but it was somewhat a relief for him: he didn't have to see his ex-girlfriend Ginny each evening in their common room. After war things weren't that easy for them and he understood that he just can't feel the same about her anymore and broke up. It hurt her and she probably hated him now but Ron and Hermione somehow understood and helped him talk her round. Finally Ginny just got it and stopped crying her eyes out and began new life, forgetting about Harry.

'Feels weird to be back here, doesn't it?' Whispered Ron as they entered the Great Hall.

'Yeah, it does. Seems like ages to me. And yet everything has changed except this castle.’

 

During the first few months Draco was mostly focused on school work. All of the students from the so called eighth year were rather quiet and focused on doing their job. There weren't many laughs in their common room, there weren't many voices of excitement or any kind of special activity. People were simply cooled down, many of them in grief and with mentality severely damaged. Draco hated Hogwarts more and more each day. He spent a lot of time on his own, wandering around the castle, looking for some calm shelters for an outcast like himself. People gave him strange looks full of hate each day. He was seen as the son of a Deatheater. The one who murdered. The one who should be deprived of all rights. If only they knew how little he wanted to become a Deatheater in the first place. How much he was trying to escape from all of it and how little he could do. Voldemort told him he'll kill Narcissa if he doesn't murder Dumbledore, what choice did he have? None. Another story she died anyway after all.

 

'I pity him a bit' said Harry of all the sudden when he was sitting with his best friends in library. He nodded towards blonde figure of Draco on the other side of the room, no one around him, although the library was almost full.

'Why on earth would you? You mad?'

'Don't be so shallow, Ron' reminded him Hermione. 'I see Harry's point. I mean it's really humiliating what he's going through. And with father in Azkaban and mother dead...'

'He deserved it' insisted Ron.

'Perhaps, but I suppose he already had his punishment. He's been through as much as we were just on the wrong side.'

'Bloody hell, you really surprise me mate. I'd rather you and Ginny got back than having to hear you pity on goddamn Malfoy son-of-a-bitch. Remember what he said to Hermione?'

‘You're a bit too hard on him, Ron. He was raised to be such an asshat.'

'You know some people just don't have a choice' mentioned Harry. 'And by the way I'm just wondering what is he up to... I mean he must feel awful being here all of the time.'

In the corner of his eye, he noticed that Draco's sit emptied.

'Sorry guys' he mumbled. 'I'm done with potions for today, I guess I'll have my legs stretched before dinner... Perhaps I'll bump into Dean and Seamus somewhere 'round?'

He picked all his stuff at once and put it quickly into bag. Seconds later he was out leaving Ron and Hermione with bit of surprise on their faces. Harry on the other hand searched his bag to find the Marauders Map and felt nostalgia as he whispered _I solemnly swear I'm up to no good_. It took him a while to find the dot he was looking for. Draco Malfoy was heading towards the Northern side of the castle and Harry just let himself be driven by an impulse and followed him there. When he found that he's settled on a tower, he waited few minutes to cool down after quick walk and wondered how to appear on the tower randomly. It ended up most fake and random anyway.

'Oh, uhmm... Malfoy! Sorry, I didn't know you're using this place as well.'

Draco caught his eyes and kept still. There was a cigarette burning in his hand. And he was burning inside as well. He felt so uncovered and weird. Potter was actually blushing.

'Well, I guess always on time to save the day, Potter' he grinned, casually taking a puff from the cigarette. Harry felt very uneasy when he noticed that Draco's more of a handsome man now and this whole cig thing rather suits him, still being calm and unmoved despite the circumstances.

'Smoking to let go the memories, aren't we? Almost like muggles... I know that thing, my cousin used to smoke those hiding from his parents. Never let me try, though. I was just there to check whether they watch and keep my mouth shut.'

'Wanna try it now? It helps, indeed.' Draco passed a cigarette towards Harry and he inhaled a bit. He coughed but smiled.

'I don't want to intrude you, Malfoy.'

'What a polite way of saying you wish me gone, Potter.’

‘I didn’t mean that.’

‘Well, don’t waste your precious time on me, Saviour’

'Always over-reacting, aren't we Malfoy?'

Draco grinned. 

'Sit down if you wish. As you probably noticed there aren't many people willing to talk to me so I might as well be satisfied with your companion. See how low one can get?'

'Perhaps, Malfoy. But don't flatter yourself, I'm just trying to get away from my overwhelming fans.'

They sat in silence. Draco's cigarette burned down and they were quietly staring at the view. Both of them had thousands of thoughts going through their minds but none of them seem to be able to speak up. Finally Harry raised. He felt huge lump down his throat but he intended to say loud what he was willing to for few weeks or more, there won’t be another such occasion.

'Hey, Malfoy if you feel like joining for a small buzz tonight, feel invited. We're heading to Hogsmeade for some butter beer or firewhiskey. You're in?'

Draco was left shocked. 

'Seven by the main door, don't dare being late!’

Harry stood up and causally flitted away his trousers. Draco swallowed nervously when dark-haired boy winked to him and headed back towards his dormitory as though nothing happened. Little did Draco know that Harry felt equally nervous finding out that although he wasn't running, his heart was beating at a very inappropriate high speed. 

 

He felt very awkward waiting for Potter, dressed head to toe in muggle clothes (black jacket, black t-shirt and tight, black jeans). Draco felt that he should be before time as if his former enemy would forget about him and go alone. He had no idea what happened to him but he was actually nervous and wanted to act casually but couldn't at all. He wasn't able to be fully honest with himself but Harry Potter occupied his thoughts throughout those years far more than he should have and it felt so weird to go out with his greatest enemy. Because Harry-jackass-Potter was his greatest enemy, wasn't he?

'There you are, Malfoy. I bet those clothes match your soul, huh?' 

In came Potter and in casual way patted his back and shared a smile. Draco felt something dropped in his stomach. Potter looked so much less untidy than normally. Well, he basically started to dress up less untidy since he left his muggle family home and bought his own clothes but Draco couldn't help but notice how fine cut were his tight dark-blue jeans with holes and how nicely they matched white tee and black leather jacket. Harry developed his own sort of rebellious, punk-ish style which surprised Draco each time he saw him. It was so different and suited him so peculiarly. Suddenly he felt so uncomfortable with his own thoughts he just managed to mumble.

'Yeah well whatever, Potter. Somehow I managed to pop in here, are we going or what?'

'Relax, Malfoy. Cheer up a bit or...'

'Let's go!'

 

Harry felt awful as silence was filling their whole walk to Hogsmeade. They both were occupied with their own thoughts and felt completely uncomfortable one with another. They weren't supposed to talk or go out together and both were fully aware of it. Yet, the most uncomfortable thing about them, was how they both were satisfied with the other once presence next to them.

As Harry entered Three Broomsticks, he quickly found group of his friends already there, cheering over their pints. He smiled and waved in their direction.

'Here comes our Saviour!' Grinned Ron with a laugh.

'We were afraid our lordship won't grace us with his presence. Better late then never, Potter!' Smiled Seamus raising a glass in his direction.

Suddenly all of their faces went blank as they saw Draco appearing from behind Harry's back.

'Yeah guys, so I bumped into Malfoy sometime and told him to come over, hope y'all don't mind...'

Their faces were saying that they do mind, especially Ron's but Hermione hurried with help.

'Of course Harry, very nice you decided to join us, Draco. Fix yourself a chair and there surely be enough space for you.'

Both Harry and Draco send her a relieved, thankful smile and she just gently tossed Ron's arm and kissed his cheek what made him relax a bit. Malfoy was also surprised because nobody called him by his first name since his mother died months earlier.

 

Firstly the atmosphere was rather dense. It was the first time they actually went out and spent some completely informal time together. Draco firstly was thinking of this Gryffindor-socialising as a form of redemption. After all if goddamn Ministry will know he socialises with Saint Potter he'll be automatically treated well and perhaps will be made more free and able to leave castle earlier. He never said it loud but his supervisors have clearly stated that if he does not show any kind of improvement he will be put in special institution for troubled wizards and most probably never able to leave or at least not be free. Yet, as the evening passed and he was drinking more and more, he actually started to enjoy himself. He never had friends to have a gig with, he never had friends to go out with, well he actually never had real friends. And those Gryffindors although arrogant, bit primitive and odd, seemed to actually like each other and were after all nice. Hermione, whom he thought worse things of was a person who helped him out and really tried to talk to him and made sure he's fine. Harry was also very polite and even though he didn’t talk much and was rather distanced to everyone else, he was a very warm person. Draco felt weird about him, wasn't he supposed to hate him by all means? 

 

Harry was finally feeling that with alcohol and friends he's able to relax and chill for the first time since the war ended. Ron was on buzz as always quicker than all the others but Seamus and Dean were both also bit quicker than normally. Harry felt the alcohol in his veins but wasn't any drunk. It was very hard for a quite tall man of his athletic posture to actually feel alcohol. Most of the time he was being entertained by Seamus and Dean who had fallen for the same girl from Hufflepuff recently and were telling very funny stories about it. He was glad that they made it easy for him not to talk too much, after the war he developed some sort of inability to talk much for longer than five minutes. No matter with whom he was he just liked to be quiet and look at people. He always was the one who keeps things to himself but now he just was unable to make up a conversation, it was exhausting for him. He was happy to see that Hermione and Draco were getting along well and happy to see that alcohol made it unable for Ron to notice it, otherwise... Harry was just hoping this admiration had no other affection. Hoping? Yeah, after all Hermione was his best friend and best friend's beloved girlfriend. Yet some part of him would just hate Draco to be affected by Hermione.

'Hey, Potter?'

'Yeah, Malfoy’

'Wanna go out for a cig with me? Thought I could share...'

'Yeah sure, why not?'

They left the table walked out by curious looks of their friends. Draco didn’t care he was enjoying himself and perhaps earning his future freedom. And Harry just felt good being nice to somebody.

'What the…' when Ron noticed them leaving he raised his eyebrows.

'They have lots to explain to each other' said Hermione casually. 'They've waited for it way too long I guess...'

'Waited for what?' asked ginger.

'Well, they both were affected and blinded by hatred to each other, those are strong feelings, right?'

 

'Nice night, Potter' whispered Malfoy as they sat on a cold bench in the corner.

'Yeah, right' Harry was surprised and a but amused but the fact how easily Malfoy could be affected by alcohol. And yet he looked very nostalgic and somewhat romantic in this night scenery smoking a cig.

'Your friends are better than I thought actually.'

'Thanks for this approval, Malfoy. Somehow I knew who to stick to...'

'That's why you didn't want to become friends with me that very first day of school? You had the feeling I will become servant of the evil and will be forced to kill your biggest authority and tutor?'

Harry sighed and looked intensively into the ground.

'Oh Harry Potter has one more superpower, he can predict future!'

'Oh, shut up Malfoy! You're being pathetic.'

'I'm just facing facts! I was evil and you were an arrogant prick... Recently I've learned that we must face who we are.'

'And you think that I don't know that? Of all people?!'

'Well...'

'You think that I had a choice?'

'You had a choice then.'

Draco leaned dramatically towards Harry and finding himself unstable sat on the cold ground.

'You're still referring to the fact that I refused your hand in first grade?'

'Wasn't that being prejudiced? Somehow people forget that there is the other perspective of seeing things.’

'I'm sorry, Draco. But you managed to find yourself a bunch of nice guys and enjoyed yourself pretty too well.'

'Haha, yeah. Only fools call those stupid fat cows friends. They were nothing. Don't you think that I was jealous?'

'Jealous of me?' Harry looked at Draco. Drunk, completely honest, surprising, nostalgic and mostly; sad.

'You had a nice bunch of friends, girls fancied you, teachers loved... You are a perfect hatred material.'

'And so are you.'

'Well took some time to practise it but I guess I'm a pro now.'

Harry didn't catch it.

'Oh you dumbass, I did all to learn how to make you hate me as much as I hated you because I just didn't want to...'

'Be left unnoticed like you've been whole your life elsewhere? So when you understood you can't stick to the nice guys you became an opposite?'

'That's kind of my family tradition anyway.' He grinned and pulled cigarette into Harry's direction. He took it and this time inhaled properly. Seeing him smoking was a comforting view.

'Listen, I know you've been through a bit and I know you may not believe me but... There are certain reasons why I can understand and relate to you. It wasn't that I chose to be the one to kill Voldemort myself...'

Draco's face was still. He was paying close attention to Harry's words being surprised by his honesty. He continued.

'I didn't want all this hush about me either. It wasn't that I was most of my life focused on looking for trouble and attention, I didn't choose to have my parents murdered. Most of it was just personal revenge because this whole Voldemort thing kinda destroyed my life you know. And not only my parents died...'

'Well there were plenty of people dying on both of sides, you know.'

'I know. And there were plenty of people who died _for me_ as they say. You think that I am okay with it? You think that I am less of a murderer than you are? Well, not really. You attempted to murder and I did. And there weren't much people dying for you, were there Malfoy?'

Draco smiled sadly.

'There weren't much attention paid to me anyway. In the sixth year... I suppose you were the only one who focused any attention on me, Potter. And you almost killed me.'

'Yeah. I know. Sorry about that.'

'It was fun though, the whole wand fight' whispered Draco softly, closing his eyes. 'Pretty much tension, though.'

'You know I could have left you in that fire then. But I didn't and Ron was mad at me and all because I risked something. But I knew that somehow death isn't so keen on finding me yet and it was worth a try. I knew you, I felt sorry for you and I knew you made so many wrong choices.'

It was hard for Harry to talk about feelings and to have a deep conversation he always been rather a doer than a thinker, so he felt terribly awkward especially as he acknowledged how easily Draco was sharing what he wanted.

'Thank you' said Malfoy.

'For what?'

'For not leaving me there. Saint Potter saved even my very own ass.'

They both laughed shortly.

'Shall we go back inside? My ass is freezing!' hollered Harry and they both returned to their friends bit shaky on legs.

 

When Draco Malfoy woke up in his bed the next morning he discovered something he'd never felt: it was a hangover. Of course he did consume a bit of alcohol before but he never actually went out to drink. When he reached the age allowing him to be interested in such matter, then started the whole Death Eaters' business and so he hardly had time to think about drinking. So it was first time in his life he had actually been drunk. Yet, it wasn't a terrible stage of being drunk as he remembered everything, although he'd rather not remembered most of it. He remembered he told Hermione Granger a lot of compliments and was telling some not so funny jokes to Potter's friends. Also he made Ron a bit mad because his girlfriend was paying too much attention to Draco in his opinion. Yet worst part of it was the fact that he had actually opened up to Potter, his damn deadly enemy. He considered his actions pathetic and couldn't understand why he was so keen of saying all those things to the bloody scarhead and yet, there was some pleasure in it, he remembered warmth that he felt in his chest when they were sitting together outside the pub. Maybe it was just alcohol or maybe... And yet he still hated him also he hated how much he enjoyed it all and mostly he was just embarrassed with himself. _Maybe that at least will help me escape being imprisoned in this fucking institution._

 

'Morning, Malfoy!' It was Potter who greeted him as he entered the Great Hall.

He nodded but moved into opposite direction to the Slytherin table.

'Did I do anything wrong?'

'No, mate. You didn't. Maybe he doesn't want to confront me after picking up on Hermione yesterday' answered Ron with a grumpy look on his face.

'C'mon Ron, he was just trying to socialise!' interrupted Hermione. 'And by the way, I'd rather be worried about my head and well-being if I were you... You've drunk rather too much yesterday and it can be clearly visible.'

Ron gave her an ice cold look but shut up.

'I suppose we all find our ways to forget, don't we?' Whispered Harry still glancing at Malfoy. 'Malfoy smokes, Ron drinks, Hermione hides herself in library and pours hectolitres of coffee inside her...'

'And you?'

‘I'm not really trying to forget, rather trying to _be_ forgotten.'

'Malfoy surely enjoyed himself last night, Harry' said all of the sudden Hermione. 'He's just not ready yet.’

'Not ready for what?' Harry was disturbed.

‘Not ready for you’ she said with a smile but her best friends just stared at her blankly. She continued to explain with a blush.’Well, you know, there must be some kind of affection between you two, I must have been blind not to notice it. You to were obsessively hating each other for so long that it must have blinded you both completely and you to you are… So similar in so many ways, both never understood, both hiding feelings deep down or at least trying and just everyone can see them except you.’

Harry was left speechless. He opened his mouth but no words came out of it. She was going too far or was she?

'Whatever you are insinuating, I'm just trying to be nice okay. I've been through a lot and I'm trying to perhaps fix the fact that fucking way too much people died for me or because of me and perhaps I would like to be fucking known for something else. And actually it is fucking comforting that there still are some people seeing in me as something other than a goddamn Saviour however bad it might be. And I just rather be hated and insulted to not go crazy about my so-called greatness while all I did was just be a part of a fucking plan and a marionette and I just want to be nobody. And at least bloody fucking Malfoy still sees me as this twelve years old jerk whose bit too socially awkward and arrogant on his broom and I’d rather be this than seen as a hero which I am fucking not.’

He packed his things and left without a word.

'What's wrong with him?' 

'He's coping with lots of feelings at once and he's never done that quite well.'

'Feelings? Well we all are...'

'Ron with all the love I have for you, we've already decided that your emotionality can be whole filled into a teaspoon.'

 

When Harry approached Draco in a casual manner in the common room, there was pretty no escape. He decided to stick to his book as much as it was possible and not impolite at the same time.

'How are you doing, Malfoy? Feeling good today?'

'I'm doing fine, thank you for your concern, Potter' he answered bit sarcastically. 

'It was actually nice you came.'

There was an awkward silence but Harry still stood there, as if he wanted to add something or waiting for any response. It finally came.

'Listen Potter, I fully understand that you wish me now to express my gratitude for being able and privileged for having the unspeakably great ability to spend some time with you and your friends but... I don't need it, understand? I don't need you to pity me, I don't need you to take care of me, to help me. I don't need you to patronise me. I don't want your fucking pity, Potter. You, the great saviour surely are incredibly gorgeous and generous but I don't need you to fix my life, Potter. Better go and try to fix yours because as far as I know your mental well-being is also in doubtful condition. You can't save everyone, Potter. However heroic brave and generous you are. And everything I told you yesterday, I didn't mean it at all, I'd rather died with Crabbe that day than be saved by you.’

Harry opened his mouth. He was shocked and knew there was nothing left to say so he just turned back and left the common room. As soon as he reached the corridor, he found himself running.

 

As Draco was left alone he approached to his room quickly. He sat on his bed and found himself nervously clutching the side of the wooden frame of furniture. He felt weird, he felt something he had so many times before — it was regret. He was regretting all that happened between him and Harry, mostly the last words he said. He didn't mean any of what he said but he knew that was kind of a right thing to do. Or wasn't it? He knew that Potter would never actually _want_ to socialise with him, or would he? Harry used him to show off as much as Draco was using him to show his supervisors that he is doing fine and able to be set free. Mutual benefits, Draco Malfoy’s redemption and Harry Potter’s big heart and forgiveness towards the greatest enemy. He noticed something when he was looking at Potter minutes before: there was sadness in his eyes. But not the one he was carrying throughout his whole life, he saw that while he was saying all of those terrible things, Potter's eyes were fading. And that is what made him feel regret and somehow pain, it was painful to hurt someone who we...

 

‘It's stupid of you to ignore him like this now.’ Hermione's voice was awkwardly soft, delicate. ‘Draco please, you're hurting him. You must make him understand. He never understood the truth and you must help him.’

‘The truth?’

‘Yes, Draco. The truth about what he feels and who he is and…'

"I don't know what you're aiming at, it all sounds like a piece of crap to me."

Hermione sighed, maybe after all she knew far less than she thought. Maybe she just imagined too much when Harry broke up with Ginny and it was soon after he talked with Remus about young angst and love between him and Sirius. She didn't want to insinuate anything it was just the idea she had then and she saw Harry's face when Draco was about to die. There was a very definitive reason why he saved him. And yet now Draco was just neglecting all that she said, was it by any chance right? Who was wrong, Malfoy or her? But then he said something more, whispering, as if he was unsure whether she shall hear him or not.

‘I don’t want him to pity me, to take advantage of me. I want him to be treating me as equal, I don’t want him to understand how fucking much I admire him.’

 

‘How do you feel about it?’

‘About what?’ Harry gave a tired, grumpy look. He wasn't happy that he was yet another year studying all this bullshit and working on subjects that will never have any importance in his life. He did his job, he defeated Voldemort and now he was again forced to write essays and prepare potions. ‘Well, I’m afraid I will fail my NEWTs to be honest, I am hardly able to focus on anything.’

‘Because you’re thinking about a certain blonde half of the time, aren’t you?’

‘Have you fallen in love, Hermione? Malfoy seems to be the only person on your mind recent weeks.’

‘Harry, if you are going to hide all the feelings from yourself you’re getting nowhere. Don’t you want to be happy, don’t you want to make somebody else happy? Because you all the time talk about how much you want people to stop being hurt by you but they will still be unless you try to figure out who you are, what you are. Let me know when you will intend on being honest with yourself because the only person you’re hiding your whereabouts from is actually you.’

Harry felt awful when she rapidly stood up and intended to leave. She was broken too, she also lost people who she loved and furthermore, she lost his best friend who was no longer there laughing, talking deep with her, being honest, being a shoulder to cry on. He was just taking but not giving anything.

‘Hermione, wait! Please… I am… I am sorry. I must have been a real jerk last few months.’

‘Well, I won’t say you weren’t. Take your time, Harry. Think it through. Think about all the feelings that you’ve gone through… Think. Because maybe you will figure out what is it you really want.’

She smiled and left him on his own.

 

Harry stopped carrying much about school following days. He took Hermione’s advice seriously and spent a lot of time on his own, going through all that have happened. Teachers put a blind eye on him missing classes or appearing late. He found himself wandering around the castle in the middle of night and sometimes he found Draco doing exactly the same but he never was brave enough to approach him like he did once.

 

Draco Malfoy was not doing well. As he turned down Potter’s offer of friendship and basically hollered at Hermione, there was no one left to talk to him. It was early in the morning and it was Sunday so everyone was still asleep — the common room was empty and Draco could just enjoy a bit of space for himself. He was glad that they were all given separate rooms this year but they were very small and he felt sometimes imprisoned between four walls. He walked to the boys’ bathroom, willing to take a quiet shower and have some time to clear his head. After some time he went out and started to rub his body with towel. He was putting on trousers when he heard the door opening. Damn it, it was hardly seven o clock and somebody was already up? He sneaked behind the curtain and froze as he found out that it was Potter, standing in front of mirror. He was covered in mud and dressed in a quidditch uniform. Ah right, back from lonely, early morning practice. He wanted to run away as quickly as possible but that was the moment when Harry started to take of his clothes. First he unbuttoned his jacket and threw it away. Then he took of his sweater what left him in trousers and white, sweaty tee. He energetically, as if he was struggling with anger, took off his shoes and pushed them into the corner of bathroom. At that moment Draco felt that it is the perfect moment to just reveal his presence and escape he started moving the curtain but at that very moment Potter opened the tap and spilled water all over his face. He took of glasses and Malfoy felt his body filling with warmth. How on Earth come he never saw Potter without glasses? And how come that his face was so nice, so masculine but pretty at the same time? He didn’t shave this morning and there was hair on his jaw. And those green eyes, perfectly emerald, so full of emotions, he could see the sparks of anger, sadness and pain dancing in them. Now he should leave, what on Earth is he thinking staring at Harry like this? Like if… During those few seconds when he closed his eyes and was fighting with himself, Potter managed to get rid of his shirt and trousers, being left standing in front of the mirror, staring at his own, wet face just in underwear. Draco’s jaw dropped. All that he had noticed that changed in Potter’s body through last one year was now perfectly visible. His chest was well grown, his arms were so large, his biceps were visible although he was not stretching them.

‘Shit’ Draco whispered even though he tried his best to keep quiet.

Potter turned around and noticed him immediately. Draco did his best to try to look as neutral as possible but his facer was already scarlet read. And he felt he was sweating as he noticed that there were so many muscles visible on Potter’s torso. And Merlin’s beard, he even had abs.

‘Oh, Malfoy’ Harry sounded surprised.

 

Harry felt so revealed when he saw Draco Malfoy, his hair still wet and shirtless standing in front of him as he was just in his underwear. Covered in dirt, sweat and droplets of water. And there was him, the reason why he felt so uncomfortable with himself, the reason why he needed to get away from everyone. Yet, when he saw his blond hair, untidy, covering his face but still showing off his sharp, blue eyes and then his slim torso, smooth pale body and collarbones, he couldn't help but grin because of the warmth he felt. Maybe that was what Remus told him about Sirius?

‘Morning Potter!’ said Draco swallowing nervously and angrily. Not only was he spotted but also laughed at, great. He took all his things and aimed straight towards the door. Yet when he reached them, a strong hand grabbed his shoulder.

‘Hey, Malfoy I was thinking…’  he started but seeing him so pale and looking sick he stopped. He asked worried ‘Draco, you okay?’

Potter’s wet, sweaty body was so close to Malfoy the he felt like if he was about to faint. His head was spinning. Just like then when he almost murdered him in a different bathroom. How on earth haven't he noticed how deeply affected he can be by Potter? And why on earth has Potter got so hot, so sexy, so… It was enough, he was so afraid he couldn’t handle it anymore.

‘Fuck off, Potter.’ he spitted out. 

Harry was left speechless. He let blonde boy go and as soon as the door closed, he groaned and with the anger and tension being brought to the highest level, he hit the mirror with open fists, making it fall into thousands of pieces.

 

 

Draco slept in the next day. He actually did it half intentionally as the first class was potions and he knew that he will be unable to avoid Harry-fucking-Potter during it, as he of course had the ambition to become an auror and so they had this class together. Draco didn't think about career personally. He was afraid to because he felt he is going to be excluded from the society anyway and so he didn't want to have any high hopes or plans. For him life was a mess and if it ended he wouldn’t mind. Yet at the back of his head he followed this little dream of his to become a healer and so potions were both important and obligatory. 

He stood in front of the wooden door leading to his potion class but he was too nervous to open it. Maybe he would just skip the class? Next was herbology and Potter was not attending it. He could just wait and… The door suddenly swung open as Seamus went out of the class. He looked at Malfoy but said nothing just went into the direction of toilets. Draco had no choice now, he had to enter.

 

‘Morning mr Malfoy’ greeted him professor Slughorn. ‘Ten points from Slytherin, you’re almost twenty minutes late.’

Draco was in a bad mood already. Pain and anger crossed his face.

‘But professor, Potter was late half an hour last week and only got five taken’ he complained.

‘Better take your place, please’ Slughorn’s voice was ice-cold. Draco approached rest of the students who were stuck above the cauldrons. All of the sudden a very strong smell filled his nose. It remained him of what he smelled the day before — grass from quidditch pitch, mud and sweat. 

‘Anyway what’s that gross smell in here?’ he said bit to all bit to himself. He added sharply, trying to pretend that he still is the same Malfoy as always.’Have you forgot to shower after your morning practice, Potter?’

Harry looked at Draco standing right in front of him and grinning. He stopped what he was doing. He sniffed just to make sure but the smell he felt was completely different. It was broomstick paste and pumpkin. And then… _Shit_.

‘I didn't have training today and yes I did shower. The only smell that is here is the amortentia that we are brewing today.’

 

Draco looked at Harry, he suddenly felt as if he was about to fall. Shit. He looked around the room hoping that nobody heard him. But they did and he was there, being stared at. But when he looked once again at pair of perfect emerald eyes staring at him he felt as if he was there standing naked in front of the whole class. As if they could see his scars that Sectumsempra left on his body. As if they could see that he has so many flaws and he hasn’t got all the muscles he wanted to. All the muscles that saint Potter had. He breathed in the air once again and felt it. It was exactly the same smell he felt a day before that was from the body of unexpectedly attractive man standing in front of him. And it appeared to be the smell of what he loved the most. And now they knew. Now they all fucking knew. Draco wanted to scream and punch Potter in his perfect face and run away but all he did was take his place and focus on the preparation of potion himself. Little did he know that on the other side of class there was a heart beating as quickly as his in a grown chest of a certain dark-haired boy.

 

‘Don’t mess it, Harry’ Hermione whispered in his ear right few minutes before the end of the lesson.

‘I’m not going to.’

‘Well you are, look’ she sounded uneasy.

‘How am I supposed to mess anything if I have done nothing. And after such fucking confession I swear I am not going to. Chill out, Hermione.’ he finally stopped staring at Draco and looked down at his best friend who was pointing at cauldron and the way in which he was stirring it. ‘Shit.’

‘Damn’ she answered her jaw dropping.

Lucky for him the bell rung this very moment and Harry packed his bag in record time and rushed out of the suddenly hot classroom.

 

It was Monday the next week and Harry felt as nervous as never before. Even confronting Voldemort seemed to be a piece of cake comparing with what he was about to do. It was just after five o clock in the morning and the dormitory was completely empty. Everyone was asleep. Yet, Harry reached the boy’s bathroom just to find that there was somebody inside taking shower. He leaned on sink and without making any sound waited until Draco Malfoy left the shower. There he was, with still wet hair, skinny black trousers, right fitted white shirt and perfectly tied Slytherin tie. All fresh and ready. Harry felt his chest was whole bouncing because of the speed of his heartbeat. There was nobody in his life before that made him feel so vulnerable to his own body.

‘Morning Malfoy!’ he shouted with a huge smile. No hint of nervousness.

 

Draco flinched, the voice he heard made him feel pain. He just nodded and directed himself towards the door. Soon he found out that they were locked.

‘What the hell?’ he turned back and found out that Harry-fucking-Potter was standing right behind him. His emerald eyes seeming wild and bright and heat coming from his body. ‘What do you want, Potter?’

‘The question is what do you want, Draco?’ he looked straight into his eyes. Door locked. Potter inches away. Draco was trapped. And the sound of Potter saying his name.

‘I would love you to just fucking let me exit this fucking damn bathroom.’

‘Somebody’s nervous?’ 

 

Harry couldn't help himself, he was so close to this blonde-haired angel. Almost inches from his full lips. With drops of water and sweat on his cheeks. He could just moved a bit and… And Merlin he was so nervous this heir of Slytherin. Harry was all in control.

 

‘I was just wondering, Draco. What do you actually want? Did you want me to save you from that fire? Or did you want me to leave you?’ Harry smiled a bit but it was a sad smile. Suddenly he couldn't resist and quickly untied Draco’s tie and unbuttoned his shirt. He looked at the scars and touched them with his warm, big hand. ‘Shit this must have hurt.’

Draco wanted to escape badly, he was trapped. But with the touch and Potter’s smell and this body right over his, he felt his own arousal in his lower body and prayed that Potter was unable to feel or see it. And that part of the body wanted just more.

‘Well it did.’

‘I’m sorry, Draco.’ he sounded sad.

He stroked Malfoy’s chest once again.

‘Oh for Merlin’s sake, Harry what are you doing?! Oh, fuck me! What…’

Harry’s brows raised. Draco swallowed and looked into emerald eyes to completely loose it, he was heated and astir, he couldn't control it he just said it, although it was not what he meant.

‘Oh, is that what you actually want, Draco?’

He didn’t need any answer. The hunger in Draco’s eyes and the arousal he felt as he leaned towards him and their hips met was enough of a permission. Harry just kissed him furiously, with so much passion Draco was shocked. His heart was beating fast, his chest and member burning. Yet it lasted just few seconds because as soon as Potter gasped for air, Draco took advantage of him being taller, dropped all the things he was carrying and held to his untidy, gorgeous black hair he always wanted to touch and get lost in. He kissed back with all the passion he had and put his tongue down Harry’s throat their teeth clinching, their bodies together in one. Harry groaned with pleasure and this time he took advantage of his strength and posture, to grab Draco’s jaw at the same time using the other hand to grab his arse. He looked straight into his blue eyes and blonde was so excited to see that the Saviour, the Scarhead the bloody Boy Who Lived, he was hungry of his body and filled with passion.

Potter leaned towards Draco's ear and bit it gently then he started to kiss his neck, inch after inch until he’d reach collarbones. He licked the whole width of his collarbones and kissed them passionately occasionally biting them. Suddenly he stopped and came off. Draco was lost, he wanted to beg him to start again… Harry grabbed his thighs and legs and wrapped them around his body and pushed Draco agains the door, they were so close to each other, hips in hips that Malfoy felt that he was not the only one aroused here. Potter’s erection was so big that blonde felt like he’s about to explode.

‘Merlin, Potter please!’ he moaned being unable to control himself if Potter is not going to fuck him, he will go insane.

‘Beg me, say my name and beg me. Tell me what you really want, Draco’ he whispered it straight into boy’s mouth.

‘I’m not going to beg you Potter.’

‘No?’ Harry smirked and still holding him tight with one hand managed to undo the zip of his trousers and reached for what has been sticking out already. He petted it with his hand but after a second he winked and grabbing Draco with both hands, bowed down stuck out his tongue, with the tip of it, he licked the tip of Draco’s penis. Blonde shivered and moaned loudly.

‘Fine! Fine!’ he groaned. ‘Harry I beg you, Harry oh god just fuck me already.’

Saying his name felt so good.

‘I’m barely touching you and you’re already begging?’

‘Harry, Harry, Harry…’ he whispered between moans. Harry licked him again. ’Darling boy I beg you, I’ll do anything just…’ Potter started to suck on his dick and Draco screamed. ‘HARRY FUCK ME NOW, PLEASE!’

 

Harry felt so good but when he heard those words this scream, when he saw how excited this blonde god is, he just grabbed his body and pushed it to the floor. He ripped his shirt, got rid of his skinny, black trousers and finally ripped his underwear to be able to touch all of what was inside. Yet Draco was also in the need of nudity because he soon took off Harry’s shirt and waved hand to get rid of the rest of the clothes. 

‘You didn’t need to ruin my expensive clothes, bastard’ Draco whispered in his lover’s ear. But Harry’s kisses on his inner thighs shut him.

 

Finally even Harry couldn’t stand the tension, he wanted to ride this boy and so he turned him on his stomach and sat on his back and then just let himself get deeper and deeper. Draco was groaning moaning and screaming and so was his lover but he managed to shut his mouth with some kisses. And finally they both came and their bodies parted. They parted in the middle of the bathroom floor, exhausted, sweating and both happiest ever.

‘Sorry I wasn’t all that sweaty and covered in grass. Didn’t manage to get to the pitch on time’ Harry whispered. Draco laughed.

‘Well you’re all that sweaty now, aren’t you?’ he smirked in answer. ‘Fuckssake, I will regret saying this but damn Potter… Damn Harry you’re so hot. You’ve always been attractive but this is just too much. All this muscles and abs make me wanna beg you again…’

‘You’re one most beautiful kinky bastard I was inside and I wanna make those full lips moan and kiss mine till the end of the day.’

Draco laughed and kissed him softly. It was their first romantic kissed. They both blushed.

‘I meant it then, when we were talking outside the Leaky Cauldron. I meant all of it.’

‘I know Draco, I figured it out.’

Suddenly someone started to bang at the door. They must have been there for much longer than they should have. They quickly cleaned themselves up and tried to appear normally. Harry opened the door and found Dean on the other side.

‘Harry, Draco… You two look…’

‘Oh, no worries, Dean. We just had a small wand fight inside, nothing to worry about really.’ Harry said with a straight face. Malfoy overtook him and was escaping to his room, he knew that all that happened inside of the boys’ bathroom will remain there forever. Harry stopped him and smoothly got right into his room.

‘What the hell Potter?’

‘You don’t think I am going to let you go now, huh?’

‘Well… I think that…’ 

‘Oh, you stupid blonde jerk I wanted you for so long and now you’re just willing to let me go? Nah.’

‘So, you want me?’

‘I fucked the living bits out of you, kissed each inch of your body and sucked your cock all in less than an hour. Shit, of course I do.’

‘Come here you arrogant prat because I wanna kiss those bloody lips till I’m out of breath.’

 

Draco leaned towards him being few inches taller and after one long kiss he just pushed Harry on his bed, this time slowly taking off all pieces of clothing.

‘I hope you’re in good relationship with professor Slughorn because we are going to skip his lessons, Harry.’

‘Oh you kinky little bastard, you’re still not had enough.’ 

Draco smirked and kissed him.

‘Oh boy, Draco I might be in love.’

‘I already am you prat, so take advantage of me and let me suck on this cock.’

 

 

Corridor was empty, everyone was already inside of the Great Hall eating dinner. Harry gripped the hand he was holding a bit tighter. Draco looked at him nervously. They both smiled and kissed each other. They didn’t leave Draco’s bed for the whole day, they couldn’t let go one another and still it wasn’t enough. Once their passion was free they could be doing each other everywhere and anytime.

They stopped before the entrance to Great Hall. Draco swallowed nervously.

‘Scared, Malfoy?’

‘You wish’ he smiled.

They entered the Great Hall together, hand in hand and everyone was just looking at them, staring. Nobody said anything. Harry brought him to Gryffindor table and made him sit beside him, with his friends. Ron’s jaw dropped, Hermione was weirdly happy, others were surprised but not as much as the rest of students. All the eighth years, they saw it coming. They saw how two boys desperately seek each other, how they were staring at each other how… How Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were meant for each other. 

 

‘You know it’s not going to be easy’ Harry said to Hermione and Ron who demanded explanations afterwards. ‘But it’s fucking worth it. We’re both so fucked up that only we can help to fix one another. At some point, eventually. I love him, I always did. I hated him so much that I loved him.’

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Drarry smut and I was very anxious about posting it. Please leave your thoughts below. I am very open to any kind of criticism and discussion. Hope you enjoyed it though :)


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